A Royal Shame

Lessons we need to learn

We live in an age obsessed with celebrity, infected by unfounded speculation, all amplified by a toxic digital media echo chamber. 

There is little punishment for piling on and there are no guardrails to protect from grotesque spectacle. 

Women and those from marginalized groups face a greater share of the disgusting vitriol that permeates our culture.

There is a sense that everything and everyone is fair game, especially those whom people are eager to tear down for whatever reason. 

Into this toxic storm came the story of Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales, who has been uncharacteristically absent from public events for months.

If you have been anywhere near a television or an internet connection, you know that the matter of the missing Middleton has become a global obsession. This was made worse when the royal family released a picture of her with her children that was quickly determined to be photoshopped. What followed has been a flood of disgusting conspiracy theories and sanctimonious performative punditry. So much attention, and to what end? 

The details of what has been said are not important. The fact that all of this reached such widespread public acceptance is a verdict on us all. 

Kate Middleton might be viewed as having the height of privilege — a young woman with a movie star presence married to the heir to the British throne. But ultimately she is just a human being, susceptible to many of the same trials and tribulations as anyone alive. 

Today she announced in a recorded video that the reason she has been out of the public eye is because she has cancer. The young mother of three says this was a “huge shock” and she requested “time, space, and privacy.” She is receiving chemotherapy. The nature of the cancer and her prognosis was not disclosed. That is her right. 

I have no great interest in the British royal family. But I am very concerned about the media world in which we live. We can discuss the public choices people make in their lives. We can talk about power and money. We can debate policy. 

But we must not, cannot, allow ourselves to forget our common humanity. Almost everyone’s family has been touched in some way by cancer and other diseases. Think about how horrible, terrifying, and confusing those moments are after a diagnosis, especially for young parents.

I don’t care what your title is or what the size of your bank account is. Life is precious and priceless. 

I hope there will be soul-searching among all of us who snickered or speculated. Many in my generation are reevaluating how we treated famous stars, especially women, like Britney Spears and Pamela Anderson. Or people thrust into the public eye like Monica Lewinsky. Think about all the cruel jokes they faced. All the judgment. All the leering and laughing at their expense. 

Have we learned nothing?

I wish the Princess of Wales a full and speedy recovery. I think about her family, especially her children. I can’t imagine having to go through all of this at the same time the public spotlight treats you like a punching bag. 

I also think of those who never asked to be famous but find themselves stampeded by online hordes of hate. And all those who smugly accept these outages without thinking about the harm it is doing, or having the humility to recognize that there but for the grace of God go I. 

I desperately hope that there can be a public accounting for what happened with Kate Middleton and that her example can cause all of us to think twice about how jokes and conjecture are often far from harmless. 

We live in a world that largely communicates online, where digital cesspools can contaminate our daily consumption of information and our broader public discourse. The next time we are scrolling and smirking, maybe we can pause and disengage from our algorithm-driven responses to remember that somewhere on the other end of a screen, out in the real world, are other real human beings.